Sunday, June 29, 2008
A happier post!
The baby (Kaiya) that I watch through the week, her parents (Bryan & Christy)got married this weekend. They asked me if I would take a few pictures at the wedding, of the family and guests. I was nervous at first, but I ended up getting a lot of great of pictures. Tyler and I had a really good time. I started reminiscing about our wedding. It feels like it was so long ago, but it also feels like just yesterday. Well anyway, here are a few of my favorite pictures from the wedding. Bryan and Christy are sweet, sweet people and I wish them years of happiness!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Ready to share....
I have been trying to decide if I want to post about this or not, and I think that it is time for me to share.
On May 28 Tyler and I found out that we (as in I) were pregnant. Before you get too excited, the story isn't a happy one. On June 8 (a date I will not soon forget) we found out I was having a miscarriage (I was about 6 weeks along). We were so very sad...
But, now that I have told you the sad part, lets get to the purpose. When we found out that we were pregnant, I already knew in my heart that we were not going to be able to meet our baby. I told Tyler that night, that I felt that God had already prepared me for what was about to come. God spoke to me, and I definitely heard Him. I am so thankful for this, what peace it has brought me.
You see in the days (maybe even weeks) before we found out that we were pregnant, I continued to stumble upon very (and I stress very) sad blogs. At the end of this, I will post one that continues to be a blessing to me. After reading these, I realized that my heart had never truly felt the pain of loss. Of course, family members have passed away, but never the pain that these women from the other blogs have felt. In that moment of realization, God spoke. And I knew, that something was coming. Remember this was before we found out. He was preparing me for the hardest thing that I have ever been through (and hope that I ever have to endure).
Although, I have to admit that I still started to prepare for the baby. We started talking about names, and I began looking for nursery furniture. I wanted to be hopeful. Hopeful, that I just misunderstood what God told me. Now I will not go into details but I knew on June 8, that we lost the baby, before we ever spoke with a doctor. And, I cried (more than I ever wish to again). I am so very thankful to our family that helped us that day and the days following. I mourned our baby for many days. I continued to imagine what it would have been like to have two babies. What he/she would have been like. Until one day, I just understood, that the baby was never intended to be here. God had other plans, and they were much greater than I could ever imagine. And at that moment I was at peace. There are still hard moments, but I am humbled to feel so close to God during this sorrowful time. At first, the thought of getting pregnant again scared me. I wondered how I would move on if it happened again (and I still worry sometimes, but I try not to). I just put my faith in the Lord, and pray that He guides me down the path the He wants me to follow (and gives me strength to believe).
I would like to share something that I got in an email and few days after we found out about the miscarriage. I had been praying for God to lead me to a place of healing and answers. This was the email (one of those forwards that I usually delete instead of open):
"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did" When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.Concentrate on this sentence..... 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.' Something good will happen to you today. Something that you have been waiting to hear. This is not a joke; someone will call you by phone or will speak to you about something that you were waiting to hear. Do not break! Send it to a minimum of 7 people......... JUST DO IT!
Well I didn't send it to anyone, but God spoke to me again. While reading to Nolan from his bible that night, I read about the kingdom of heaven being made up of the children of God. My baby, in the kingdom of heaven. There was nothing more that I needed to hear. My baby was home.
I do not want any of you to be sad. I tell you, this is the way it is supposed to be. And, I know that the words that I have wrote do not begin to describe the true emotion that I felt while writing them. So, just let God talk to you, and help you to understand what this post means to me and hopefully what it means to you. I want to thank all of our families, you all are a true blessing!
Everyone should check out this blog, and to truly appreciate it, start from the beginning. I do warn you, you will spend hours reading and crying, but it is worth it. http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/
On May 28 Tyler and I found out that we (as in I) were pregnant. Before you get too excited, the story isn't a happy one. On June 8 (a date I will not soon forget) we found out I was having a miscarriage (I was about 6 weeks along). We were so very sad...
But, now that I have told you the sad part, lets get to the purpose. When we found out that we were pregnant, I already knew in my heart that we were not going to be able to meet our baby. I told Tyler that night, that I felt that God had already prepared me for what was about to come. God spoke to me, and I definitely heard Him. I am so thankful for this, what peace it has brought me.
You see in the days (maybe even weeks) before we found out that we were pregnant, I continued to stumble upon very (and I stress very) sad blogs. At the end of this, I will post one that continues to be a blessing to me. After reading these, I realized that my heart had never truly felt the pain of loss. Of course, family members have passed away, but never the pain that these women from the other blogs have felt. In that moment of realization, God spoke. And I knew, that something was coming. Remember this was before we found out. He was preparing me for the hardest thing that I have ever been through (and hope that I ever have to endure).
Although, I have to admit that I still started to prepare for the baby. We started talking about names, and I began looking for nursery furniture. I wanted to be hopeful. Hopeful, that I just misunderstood what God told me. Now I will not go into details but I knew on June 8, that we lost the baby, before we ever spoke with a doctor. And, I cried (more than I ever wish to again). I am so very thankful to our family that helped us that day and the days following. I mourned our baby for many days. I continued to imagine what it would have been like to have two babies. What he/she would have been like. Until one day, I just understood, that the baby was never intended to be here. God had other plans, and they were much greater than I could ever imagine. And at that moment I was at peace. There are still hard moments, but I am humbled to feel so close to God during this sorrowful time. At first, the thought of getting pregnant again scared me. I wondered how I would move on if it happened again (and I still worry sometimes, but I try not to). I just put my faith in the Lord, and pray that He guides me down the path the He wants me to follow (and gives me strength to believe).
I would like to share something that I got in an email and few days after we found out about the miscarriage. I had been praying for God to lead me to a place of healing and answers. This was the email (one of those forwards that I usually delete instead of open):
"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did" When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.Concentrate on this sentence..... 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.' Something good will happen to you today. Something that you have been waiting to hear. This is not a joke; someone will call you by phone or will speak to you about something that you were waiting to hear. Do not break! Send it to a minimum of 7 people......... JUST DO IT!
Well I didn't send it to anyone, but God spoke to me again. While reading to Nolan from his bible that night, I read about the kingdom of heaven being made up of the children of God. My baby, in the kingdom of heaven. There was nothing more that I needed to hear. My baby was home.
I do not want any of you to be sad. I tell you, this is the way it is supposed to be. And, I know that the words that I have wrote do not begin to describe the true emotion that I felt while writing them. So, just let God talk to you, and help you to understand what this post means to me and hopefully what it means to you. I want to thank all of our families, you all are a true blessing!
Everyone should check out this blog, and to truly appreciate it, start from the beginning. I do warn you, you will spend hours reading and crying, but it is worth it. http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Tooth Count
5 teeth! Can you believe it. The fifth one is coming in right now (bottom tooth). I told Tyler that I'm sure another one will follow, since all of the others came in as pairs. I say this so much, but I'll say it again. He is getting so big! Everyday something else about him is changing. Bittersweet!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Chalk
Nolan had a lot of fun carrying the chalk around, but Daddy had more fun coloring. Although, I think he would have liked it more if we would have let him eat the chalk. 
Monday, June 16, 2008
Happy Father's Day
I think that Tyler had a very good Father's day. Nolan made him a canvas painting and a card, and Tyler loved it. I should take a picture of it because it is pretty cute (it's hanging in our living room). We were planning on going swimming after church, but it started raining. After it stopped raining in the evening we headed up to Smithville Lake and had a fruit picnic (pineapples and watermelon). Then we played on the playground for a bit. All in all it was a pretty fun day!
Tyler, you are the best Daddy in the world. I hope that you know how much we love you each and everyday!
The greatest gift I ever had came from God; I call him Dad!~Author Unknown
Tyler, you are the best Daddy in the world. I hope that you know how much we love you each and everyday!
The greatest gift I ever had came from God; I call him Dad!~Author Unknown
Monday, June 9, 2008
10 Months!
Nolan is getting smarter everyday. He seems to learn something new all the time. Both of his top front teeth have broke through and he looks so cute! He is having fun with his "girlfriend" Kaiya (the baby that I watch through the week). He also is a happier baby these days. Although he still has his moments, he normally plays very well by himself without needing me (this is a much needed break!). Oh, and of course, he is getting cuter by the minute, no by second! I'll post his ten month pictures soon (my camera battery died). They are pretty cute!
Sunday, June 1, 2008
I forgot...
Nolan has a new tooth. Boy, it was a pain too! I have a picture of it, but I am not going to post it because it looks like I'm torturing him ;). But, it is a top tooth, hopefully the other one will not be as horrible coming in. He looks like a big boy with a top tooth.
Happy June!
I hope everyone has a fulfilling month!
I have missed a few weeks for quotes, you'll have to forgive me.
"Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other." ~Ed Howe
I also liked this one...it reminds me of myself when I was younger, and now, but replace mother with Tyler:
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you." ~Erma Bombeck
I have missed a few weeks for quotes, you'll have to forgive me.
"Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other." ~Ed Howe
I also liked this one...it reminds me of myself when I was younger, and now, but replace mother with Tyler:
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you." ~Erma Bombeck
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